It's recently come to my attention that there are people who are truly and utterly clueless when it comes to the kitchen.
Here are 18 wild, funny, and somewhat concerning stories, as told by Tasty readers themselves:
1. "I had a friend who said he never liked to cook eggs because he hated having to pick out the shells all the time."
2. "My MIL once made cheesy potatoes. Instead of a cornflake topping, she used Frosted Flakes because 'the big box of cornflakes is expensive for just one recipe.' So she used frosted flakes from her cupboard, the kind from a variety pack. 'It's the same thing.' Dear reader, it was not."
3. "My ex got sick of me trying to make him learn how to cook anything. He tried to dry some minced beef, didn’t take the paper off, and cooked the minced beef with paper."
–Han, United Kingdom
4. "In earlyyyyyy Internet days, I was looking up a recipe that called for 'dry white wine.' A commenter wrote something along the lines of 'I couldn’t find any dry white wine, so I used the wet kind.'"
5. "They didn't know how to flip over a pancake or omelet in a hot pan."
–Brook, Pennsylvania
6. "My older sister once asked me, 'How do you boil water?' Cracked me up, I was always the child labor cook of four who did the cooking when my mom didn't cook."
7. "My mom's boyfriend stuffed a turkey with bizarre stuff like celery, carrots, and I think even cauliflower. Didn't account for the stuffed turkey taking more time to cook. The end result was people just trying to eat the outermost layers because the center was raw with salmonella vegetables. 🤢"
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8. "My now husband wanted to cook his mother's recipe of chicken picatta for me on one of our first dates. My husband did not know how to cook or really anything about cooking at the time, so when he saw 'heavy whipping cream' in the recipe, he didn't know that it was any different than 'whipped cream.'"
9. "I ran outdoor expeditions with young adults. This involved rehydrating dehydrated meals on camping stoves by adding boiling water. They kept adding water when it was just getting warm, and the food was wasted. On an expedition, this was a problem."
"We realized they had kettles at home that switched off when the water boiled. They associated the steam coming out of the kettle with boiling water, so they poured the just-turned-steaming water onto the food. We had to show them what boiling water looked like, bubbling and making a noise. They got it quick enough, but it was odd to have to teach people what boiling water was."
–Chris, United Kingdom
10. "I needed to grab something from my car, and my boyfriend at the time offered to refill my water bottle while I was out. When I came back, the water bottle was still empty because he 'didn't know whether to put the ice or the water in first'. Not knowing how to refill WATER was a clear sign I needed to dump him. 😅"
–Anonymous
11. "I had a roommate in college who was not allowed in the kitchen. Her Mom did not teach her to cook, and she was interested. She began trying to cook on her own when we shared an apartment. It was a big learning curve for her. The one that threw me for a loop was that she didn't even know how to make a grilled cheese!"
12. "My husband shocked me with his lack of knowledge when I asked him to prepare a meal from our HelloFresh order. The man Googled 'how to chop an onion.'"
"When he asked what mincing was in the most unironic and unweaponized incompetent way, our seven-year-old son sighed heavily and offered to show him. Another time he made me a 'margarita' – blended tequila and ice."
–Anonymous
13. "We were invited to a potluck Thanksgiving where each couple was assigned a side dish, as the host was providing the turkey and gravy. These idiots who were assigned the stuffing clearly didn’t read any directions, nor did they buy it premade from the grocery store. It was basically dried-up croutons with raw celery."
14. "After I came out of the hospital after a five-day stay, I got home to find my husband had been eating a giant can of tuna. He didn’t think to refrigerate it. He wondered why he felt so sick."
"I have a degree in microbiology, by the way. I had to sit and explain to him that leaving high-protein, wet foods at ambient temperatures will cause bacterial growth. He also drinks raw milk. 😐"
–Kate, 39, United Kingdom
15. "When my husband and I were first dating, he wanted to cook me dinner and told me he was a great cook. When he was ready to serve dinner, he gave me just a steak on a plate. He didn't know or think you needed sides, just meat. To be fair, the steak was delicious, but I was really missing the potatoes or even a single asparagus."
16. "I am a bit older than my work bestie. In the staff room one day, I heard her scream in pain and helped her bandage a serious burn on her hand. This is when I learned she didn’t know you can’t put things with metal trim in the microwave and that dishes are labeled safe or not safe for the microwave and dishwasher."
–Anonymous
17. "My grandmother, back in the '60s, was recently married and suddenly had to figure out how to cook. She boiled a closed can of beans. Thankfully, my grandfather was fairly self-sufficient and spotted the problem before a hospital visit was needed."
"She was 22 and college-educated. She literally didn’t know how to cook anything. I have no idea how she was feeding herself before."
–Anonymous
18. "I walked in at a 'grill' and saw something strange (looked like a sandwich on white bread) in the microwave. I asked a co-worker at a country club, 'What is that?' She said, 'Oh, someone ordered a grilled cheese.' When I questioned, 'Why are you microwaving a GRILLED cheese sandwich?' she said, 'That's how my mom made it.' I instantly felt bad for her childhood..."
–Anonymous
Do you have a story that belongs on this list? Let me know in the comments!
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